How I Stopped Dreaming My Life and Started to Build My Dream

Road in blooming spring meadow

One year ago, I was an amateur poker player. I was dreaming of earning as much money as the poker professionals, having a free and rich life by playing cards. Then, everything would be fine. With all that money, I would be happy and do a lot of cool things!

Well, guess what? Nothing happened! I’m not a professional poker player and actually quit poker a few months later. Why do you think this happened?

I wanted to be rich and famous without any
specific purpose.

I was heading the wrong direction because I hadn’t even thought why I would play poker. Sure, I liked the game, but my goal was far more than having fun.

It’s only later that I learned to focus on what’s really important: the purpose of my actions. Why am I doing what I am doing? Did I have a good reason to become a professional poker player? I quickly realized that this lifestyle wasn’t for me, even if I had invested thousands of dollars and hours in poker courses. I would never be more than a slightly winning player. Quitting was actually one of the hardest decisions of my life; it required to admit that I’d been wrong for months! But it was also one of the best.

Think about how we make important decisions in our life. We ask our parents, friends or teachers for advice. They’re happy to help us and want the best for us, sure, but how could they know what’s good for us? Their advice is based on THEIR experiences, on what THEY would do and on how THEIR lives are. In the end, when you follow their advice, you’re not living your life; you’re living theirs.

You can’t have the control of your life if you don’t know what you truly want.

When I was playing poker, I was surrounded by other poker players. They would give me advice on how to be a better gamer, how to manage my money, etc. But would any of them question me on what I wanted more deeply? No. And actually, even I had no idea of it!

It’s easy to get carried away by the flow of life without asking yourself where you’re going. We’re driven by our environment to do what society expects from us. They all want the best for you but only YOU can know where you want to go.

Look at the picture below. You’re in a forest, facing two different paths. You don’t even know what your final destination is, but you’ve got to go somewhere. Thankfully, you have a friend with you who knows where he’s going. Which path will you choose? Of course you’ll go with your friend! You’ll end up at his destination, without even considering where you wanted to go. This is the same in life.

Two paths

How are you supposed to take the right path if you don’t know the destination?

Dont’ let this happen to you.

When you’re not sure of what you want out of life, it’s hard to be motivated. I often was unmotivated with poker but thought that it was because I was lazy. Wrong! A coach asked me to determine the vision of my life, he recommended me some books, and eventually I’ve learned how to determine exactly what I want from life. I realized this is a long and hard process. But the reward is totally worth it.

Now that I focus on what I truly want, on what puts me on fire, it’s far easier to be motivated. It allows me to be confident in every decision I make because I know it’s the right choice that will lead me where I want to go.

So, you want to take control of your life. You are ambitious and want to be above average. The first step in this is to determine what your dream life is. Have you even thought about what it is? Do you have a plan for your life? Well, if you want to find the road that leads to success, you’d better have a plan.

What I’m talking about here is to REALLY think about this. Take quiet time, without distractions. Using pen and paper, describe how you’d like your life to be, ideally. I’m serious, you should do it NOW!

It’s not that easy, huh? Let me help you. I want to give you a quick guideline so that you can take action today towards your dream life.

How to Determine What Your Dream Life Is

The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.

What is success to you? How does your dream life look like? What’s your lifeplan? Are you able to answer these questions specifically? Probably not. You may have vague answers, like “I want to have a nice family” or “I want to have a lot of money”. But if you want to get really specific, these are hard questions. Answer these questions will only get you so far.

It takes a lot of time and reflexion to find an answer that truly reflects what you want out of life. I don’t expect you to have a perfect and complete plan today.

There are actually a lot of different ways to answer these questions. But instead of trying every possible way, I’ll show you the one that worked the best for me. Here is the process:

1. Make the time for reflection.

I don’t want you to read this article, tell yourself “That’s interesting” and then do nothing. I’d like you to take action, block 15 to 30 minutes of quiet time to do the exercise. Your future you will thank you later.

2. Break down your life into categories.

You want to define what success is in each part of your life. As an example, I will give you the categories I’m using:

  • Relationships, family and social life. Which type of relationships do you enjoy? With whom do you want to be surrounded? Do you want to be more social?
  • Career. What would you like to do for a living? In which company do you secretly dream to work?
  • Health. Do you want to exercise every day, eat healthy and sleep 9 hours a day? Do you want to get fit? How important is health compared to the small pleasures of life for you?
  • Lifestyle, travel and adventure. Where do you want to live or travel? Do you want to have a brilliant career or is your priority to have time for your family?
  • Finances. How much money do you need? Do you want to invest/save more?
  • Self-improvement/miscellaneous. What do you want to learn? Do you dream of acting in a film?

Be creative.

3. For each part of your life, ask yourself the three following questions:

I’ve already giving you a few questions to start the reflection. The next ones will help you dig deeper:

1. If time, money, education, and experience were no issue and you had zero constraints in the world, what would you do?

2. Imagine an ideal day of your ideal life 15 years from now. Describe it in detail. Where do you live? With whom? Do you have children? What about your job? What do you look like?

3. What experiences do you want to get out of life so that on your final day you’ll know that you have truly live life.

Don’t try to make it perfect. You won’t. Nobody will. It will take time to improve it. The most important step is to start. The objective here is to get a first draft, it will help you get a sketch of the big picture of your life.

4. Improve your first draft by going deeper.

It’s important to be specific. What you write must resonate with you, you should feel excited about it. If you’re not, ask yourself why. To dig deeper, ask yourself “So that I can do what?” or “Why?” several times.

For instance, you may write “I want to be healthy.” Why do you want to be healthy? There are three reasons:

1. I am fit, I love my body, feel good and more confident every day, feel proud of my body and myself, people notice it, I am attractive.

2. I have more energy throughout the day. I am able to achieve more every day and have more free time to do whatever I want to do.

3. It improves my mood and my health. I am happier and less often sick. I connect better with my environment thanks to this energy and make people happier around me.

When I read this, I visualize myself, feel all the advantages and that excites me! I want to be like that, it gets me motivated to make changes. That’s why it’s so important to be specific.

If you lack ideas, think about what you’re already doing. Do you like it? What do you do it? How can you improve it? What do you enjoy doing on a Saturday afternoon?

Take Action!

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now. Well, you’re lucky, because the best time to plan your life is in your twenties when you have enough experience in your life to have an idea of what to do with it.

When you get to be 40, the best time to plan your life is now 20 years ago. Do you want to wake up then and realize that your life have been a mess without purpose?

It just requires you to start NOW. Block off 15 minutes, print this article, shut down your computer and start writing.

Remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect. You’re not engaging yourself in anything either. You’re starting a plan to build your life. Once you have your first draft, I recommend reading it every morning to get motivated and to be sure your actions are in accordance with your plan. Then, try to improve it once every week (put a reminder in your calendar).

If ever you think you don’t have time to follow the action steps, I have written an ebook that will help you save hours every day! Opt-in below to get it directly to your inbox.

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